A lot of people these days don’t really want kids at their wedding, which can feel tough as a parent. Trust me, I get it. But it can still be tough. Leaving your kids to go have fun can sometimes leave you with feelings of guilt, but it can also very much simplify things assuming you have a reliable babysitter or family member to watch them. Conversely, going to a big fun wedding with your kids can be a lot of fun, but it can also lead to a lot of tough choices and stress for you. Picking out outfits, packing distractions to make sure they don’t ruin the ceremony and just generally making sure they’re okay in a busy situation can all be difficult to manage while you and your partner also manage to have a little bit of fun. Here are a few ways to tackle bringing your kids with you to a wedding.

• Bring Distractions

I know that in real life you aren’t supposed to constantly distract your kids so that they stay calm and content, but this isn’t a real life situation. During the ceremony, all you need to worry about is making sure your kids don’t make too much noise or cause a scene that could put a damper on the whole event. Distractions are an excellent way to do that. Distractions can really come in the form of anything, whether it be an awesome personalized coloring book or a healthy snack. The important thing here is that you have a distraction readily available so that you can get them to your child ASAP when things start to go south. Remember, it isn’t about being the perfect parent, it’s about damage control.

• Come Up With Games

Coming up with some creative game ideas can be a really awesome way to stave off any tantrums. The games can be as simple or complex as you want them to be, the important thing is that your kids know the rules of the game beforehand. An important part of determining the rules is making sure your kids know that whoever wins gets a reward. Make it obvious and make it known. Whether you’re playing “whoever spots the most blue shirts gets an ice cream cone” or “whoever has the best dance moves gets a new toy” the actual game doesn’t matter too much as long as there is a clear set of rules and a clear reward system for the winner. Check out this link for some awesome game recommendations.

• Prep Them

Make sure your kids know exactly what you’re doing and where you’re going ahead of time. Remind them in the days and weeks before the wedding that you are going to Mike and Sarah’s wedding on Main Street. Make sure your kids know exactly who these people are by showing them pictures and letting them know how and why you became friends with them. If possible, spend some time with the couple before their big day so the kids have some semblance of who they are and why they’re important.

Weddings with kids can be both frustrating and a lot of fun. Planning out the day to make sure your kids are happy and your minds are at ease can make a big difference in how it goes. Getting to see your kids tear up the dance floor and see their family and friends can bring a huge smile to your face and give them some awesome memories they can look back on. Just remember to prepare, you got this.