First let me say that I am a happy, well adjusted adult (and when I am not, I pretend well). This article is amazing. I am sure I have been guilty of most of these things. I remember the talk I received when I was 12 or 13. My dad (who is wonderful and loving) thought he was helping me by explaining that my older brother was the smart one and my younger sister was the good looking one but I was the NICE one. Just what every almost teenage boy wants to hear. Of course I heard that I was the dumb, ugly one who had a really great personality. Now my dad was telling me this and explaining that of course he loved me best because I was most like my mom (which is another goal of soon to be teenage boy, be like your mom). I am sure my kids will tell stories of all the damage I did with my “talks” with them. Reading this article will hopefully make you aware of some of the things you shouldn’t say as parent or grandparents. Now hopefully my parents won’t see this post since I am sure they have a different recollection of this talk.